Crucial conversations book summary pdf how to#

If the ability barrier is s tructural, the other person is unable to complete the task due to an environmental factor, such as a distracting or uncomfortable work environment. If the ability barrier is social, the other person is unable to complete the task because of another person-they may be waiting for someone to pass on resources necessary to complete the job. If the ability barrier is personal, the other person lacks the internal resources to complete the task, such as knowledge, skill, or experience. Once we have this information, we can determine the best strategy to remove the barrier. Work with them to identify whether the root cause of the ability barrier is personal, social, or structural.

If you think the barrier is ability-based, do your best to make the task possible and easy for the other person. So to most effectively motivate the other person to want to complete a task, explain to them the negative consequences that will happen if they fail to do so.) On the other hand, positive consequences, like rewards, decrease intrinsic motivation, quality of work, and creativity. (Shortform note: In Drive, Daniel Pink seconds the authors’ argument, explaining that relaying negative consequences to the other person is the most effective strategy because it increases motivation. If they see why meeting your expectation is important, and what bad things might happen if they don't, they’re more likely to become intrinsically motivated to meet expectations long-term. If you think the barrier is motivational, explain the negative consequences of the accountability issue to the other person. The authors point to two kinds of barriers you need to consider: motivational barriers and ability-based barriers. Once you’ve vocalized the issue, the fifth step is to address any barriers that might be preventing the other person from completing their task. You can avoid this consequence by following the authors’ suggestions: Be succinct, be respectful, and establish a mutual purpose.) Addressing Motivational and Ability-Based Barriers Stonewalling could permanently damage or end a relationship. The most common reaction to these negative emotions is to stonewall-to tune the speaker out by ignoring them, acting busy, turning away, or engaging in obsessive behaviors. (Shortform note: If you fail to establish mutual respect, a shared purpose, or explain the issue succinctly, the other person is likely to feel overwhelmed and stifled. Throughout the conversation, watch for signs that the other person is feeling unsafe and re-establish safety when necessary (either by clarifying your respect or shared purpose). To do this, explain the issue succinctly: Express your expectations and how the other person failed to meet them. In other words, vocalize the issue while letting the other person know through your words, tone, and body language that you respect them and want to improve your relationship-which will benefit both parties. The fourth step is addressing the issue in a way that establishes mutual respect and a shared purpose with the other person. Establishing Mutual Respect and Shared Purpose To effectively execute our discussion, we need to bring up the issue in a way that makes the other person feel safe, work with them to identify barriers and solutions, handle any new issues that arise during the conversation, and be aware of behaviors to avoid. The authors then move from preparing for the conversation to having the conversation. Executing the Accountability Conversation

Crucial conversations book summary pdf how to#

We’ll learn how to discuss the right issue, control our emotions, address sticky topics, and effectively follow up on our chosen solution, ultimately putting an end to accountability issues and steering our relationships in a positive and productive direction. This guide explores the steps necessary to effectively solve accountability issues and provides insights from other fundamental theories of interpersonal communication, management, and psychology. Luckily, communication and management experts Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan, and Switzler explain that if we properly prepare for, execute, and follow up on our accountability conversation, we can solve our issues while improving our relationships. When we’re in a relationship with someone who has broken a promise, violated a commitment, behaved badly, or otherwise failed to meet our expectations, we’re forced to decide whether to bring up the issue and risk making our relationship worse or suffer in silence and let the issue continue.